August 20th, 2023 - by Valentina Nazzaro
Kaleah Lee’s lyricism and vocals feel like a warm hug given to you by a close friend or family member after just crying for two hours straight and not really being able to pinpoint why. Not only does the Vancouver-based artist confront those difficult conversations we tend to avoid having with ourselves about letting go of control and dealing with change, but her songwriting finds a way to simultaneously remind us of all the joy along with all the pain that this process of growth can bring. In her April single “All At Once” she yearns for this desire to feel something as she repeats this phrase around seven times in her chorus.
Photo: Kaleah Lee via Instagram
This all too well known feeling of dissociation or constantly wanting change but fearing it at the same time are vulnerable topics that Lee seamlessly turns into poetry finding a safe space for them in her music. For an artist who hasn't even dropped an EP or album yet, the visual artistry seen in her music videos, advanced songwriting and compositions, along with her particular vocal tonality within these small folk-indie projects, makes me so excited to see what she has in store for us down the line. I am one click away from making a Spotify playlist and titling it “time to be sad bitch <3” just so I can add Kaleah Lee's music to it, cry while staring out the window on a rainy day, have my main character moment and most likely call my therapist.
Before last week I had no idea who Kaleah Lee even was until I was graced with experiencing her vocals at
1am while I was doom scrolling through Tik-Tok. It was almost like her music found me at a time when I needed inspiration and validation the most. Living in the "real world" post-grad is hard. Not only is every day filled with this anxious feeling of not knowing what I wanna do with my life, but at times it becomes difficult trying to conceptualize how and why I am feeling the way I am. As I layed in my bed, staring at my screen watching her sing, I didn't even realize that I have been rewatching the same Tik-Tok video almost 3 times now. As she leans forward into what looks like her songwriting book, playing her acoustic guitar ever so softly the caption reads “didnt cry on my bday but i wrote this and idk whats worse.”
I think I can tell you what’s worse. Realizing that this is an unreleased song!! In this powerful and intimate ballad that almost feels like an ode to our younger selves, Lee teases us for a little bit over a minute and ends the song with the question “where did time go?” Throughout the piece, she writes generally but it feels so specific as the lines “and how the big things, they are shrinking, and the small things they’ve grown” spark vivid memories within our own lives forcing realizations that feel so sudden. As the song continues, specificity within her storytelling becomes more multilayered as the reality of time being uncontrollable starts to sink in. This uncontrollable feeling is seen through her poetry as the narrator starts to realize that time doesn't only affect oneself but it affects those around us just as rapidly. Importantly, Lee sings at almost a whisper insinuating some sort of hesitancy. The song starts to paint a picture of one noticing their parents' reflection in themselves as she sings " & how the way your mom speaks ---waves its way through your tongue." Although the weight of this statement holds a myriad of meanings dependent on the listeners' relationship with their mother, Lee steers the conversation towards confronting time and death as the artist longs for time to stand still singing:
& the hope that your laugh
might be keeping her young
When sung at a whisper, these words hold power as a secret we can keep to ourselves; or as something we would like to remain hidden because the pain that reality and time brings us is too much to handle all at once. Thus, singing at a whisper amplifies the meaning of this song even more. Not only does it make the song more emotional but it keeps the song safe in a little box wrapped up and put away safely under our beds. It becomes something of a time capsule. Something that we only want to confront on days we seem to feel and notice time so loudly---our birthdays.
"All At Once," "Heavy Handed," "Anchored," & "Out of my Body"
Dive Deep Into Growing Up, Dealing w/ Change
& Letting Go of Control
Photos: Kaleah Lee via Instagram
With over 1,436 comments filling her inbox on the Tik-Tok post mentioned above, Kaleah Lee’s fans beg for this song to be released on all platforms. This request is not an unfamiliar one as Lee's Tik-Tok content is known for being filled with unreleased/ work-in-progress material in the best way possible. Her Tik-Tok account gives us video diaries, covers, and snippets of her work that she hasn't fully released yet making us want more but also feeling grateful that we get an insight on a songwriter's process behind-the-scenes. Luckily, we do have access to four released singles that have each made an impact on my playlist within these last few weeks along with over 11,859 other monthly listeners on Spotify streaming her ballads “All At Once”, “Heavy Handed” “Anchored”, & “Out of Body."
In these four singles, the music forces you to feel. Specifically, what stays with me long after listening to these songs is the uniqueness of Lee’s voice. As the natural sound and texture of her acoustic guitar blends perfectly with her vocals, her particular vibrato adds warmth, emotion and personality to all her projects. For example, in “All At Once” as the piano anxiously pulsates back and forth, keeping a beat that feels rushed, she amplifies this feeling even more when combining her vibrato with the instrumental. Uniquely, this unsteady sound is heard through repetition specifically in verse one as she repeats; “on a whim” “feel again” “sink or swim.” She continues this pattern vocally and lyrically in the second verse as well. Similar to most second verses, the stakes become higher as the repeated phrases are now “against my skin,” “through the wind,” “for a spin,” all sung with her vibrato just as heavy but this time with more urgency. When the vibrato is activated, the technicality of this simply means the pitch of the note you're singing is pulsing on purpose, adding an extra layer of expression that doesn't come across as something perfect but purposefully imperfect. Her vibrato reminds me of the sound our voices make when we try to say something out loud right before our throat tightens up and we feel like crying.
Moreover, this unbalanced imperfective sound that mimics a crying tone, occurs in her song “Heavy Handed” as well. With a strong song title that never finds its way in the actual song lyrics--- the phrase being “heavy-handed” can either with a quick google search mean you're clumsy or as the Britannica Dictionary claims, someone who is “heavy-handed” is too controlling. Whether this was Lee’s intentions or not, the song itself confronts the literal fears of change and insecurities that come with this idea of letting go of control. In the first line she sings with an immense amount of vibrato and shaky tone as she states:
Cant grow much
When I feel small and surrounded.
Her honesty extends into self-awareness as she repeats why she feels like she is having trouble letting go of control. When she starts the song her vibrato is intense, shaky and vulnerable. But her artistry is specific, beautiful and allows room for growth as her tone soon becomes clearer once she acknowledges why; realizing that her environment is making her feel "small" and "surrounded." Regardless, the song goes through change itself as the music becomes more reassuring in the chorus. Feeling tricked by our environment especially when going through change and growth can make one feel stuck and ignore where they once were vs where they are now. This is even more apparent when there is guilt involved which is something Kaleah's lyrics confront as she expresses feeling like her feet are "firmly planted in the soil of mistakes and things I take for granted."
Similarly, in her 2022 single “Anchored" topics of dealing with feeling stuck in ones hometown/ environment and this making it even harder for someone to acknowledge growth, are heard. What caught my ear the most was how perfectly the instrumental went with the lyrics. This musical technique has a different sort of effect on the listeners than a song that displays lyrical dissonance; a popular technique used in indie-folk songs where the music and lyrics are mismatched and tend to go in two completely opposite directions. Screenshot: 1:32, Kaleah Lee, "Heavy Handed (music video), 2022 An example of this would be famous indie-rock supergroup boygenius' famous 2023 single “Not Strong Enough,” where the serious topics of mental illness are confronted under an upbeat track that makes me personally want to go run through a field and dance with my best friends. For Kaleah Lee, she takes a different route and hones into the feeling of nostalgia and warmth in her lyrics and instrumentals within her single “Anchored” where the F# major key colorfully resonates perfectly with her songwriting. Importantly, this major key helps guide the listener into understanding the lyrics through a less daunting and more hopeful lens. Thus, lines like “Worried I’ll never leave my hometown. I’ll be glued to the floor of the same house” and “I don’t wanna live someone else’s life” don't feel so permanent. With the lyricism throughout the verses being more difficult to come to terms with, the music underneath helps us turn our fears into something that leaves space for change. This rings true even more so in the chorus that feels like a sigh of relief as the change between the two chords D#m7 and F# literally moves us through the waves of the tide even if we are not willing. Navigating this song with F# major allows the listeners to understand the weight that is carried with being “Scared that I’ll make the call to just settle” while also understanding that despite feeling anchored and stuck the only way through the storm is to let go of control and ride the wave.
Kaleah Lee posted on her instagram an acoustic version of “Out of my Body” captioning the post 😙happy valentines day😙, as the February release displays lyrics that mirror a similar structure towards a poem.
"Out of Body" by Kaleah Lee
Lyrics:
Confiding in rivers
Telling my secrets to the moon
What does that make me
And what I believe in, is it true?
Feels out of body
When it's quiet after 2
I steady my breathing
‘Cause it's all that I can do
One day I’ll wither
And regrow to something new
For now, I make notes of
The greenest greens and bluest hues
Feels out of body
When even the quiet gets loud too
But I’m breathing
‘Cause it’s all that I can do And there’s no control to lose
This song reminds me of a promise. A promise we make to ourselves in the chaos of growth. I promise to stay curious and keep asking myself questions. I promise to breathe when things feel out of my control. I promise to do something nice for myself when I’m feeling sad and alone. As she writes in her last line “but i'm breathing. ‘Cause it's all that I can do. And there's no control to lose” I feel vulnerable--- like I'm in my room trusting my sister with information I haven't quite come to terms with myself yet but somehow I am still hopeful she will understand.
In “Out of My Body” Lee puts her trust in the listener and invites us into her world with open arms. Her songs feel personal and private; almost as if she has allowed us to read a page from her journal. Growing up, dealing with change and letting go of control are all extremely hard subjects to embark on but
Kaleah Lee does it with grace. The up & coming artist has already been finding opportunities to perform in her most recent tour that just came to an end this past June with the Canadian singer-songwriter Leith Ross headlining. Ross is another well-known musician who also started posting their music on Tik-Tok finding an overwhelming amount of love for their song "We'll Never Have Sex" in August 2021. On Lee's Instagram back in May she captioned a compilation of photos and videos from tour saying “coolest thing I’ve ever been apart of🤍 will be thanking @leith_ross forever and ever and ever and ever”
I can't help but be so grateful that I came across Kaleah Lee's Tik-Tok the other day on my timeline. Hopefully, new music is coming and maybe even her own tour soon ...#please!!??? Whatever we end up receiving next I am officially a fan and will for sure be following along very closely here at Barely Everything...will you?
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